2008 seems to have been a busy year for Andy

Im not sure where to start but i will give it a go.

I met Andy around 2008 and from word go he was full on texting, calling, visiting.. and from a naieve woman i was i believed every word he told me. He told me he was a commercial lawyer working for channel 7 and also working as an under cover police officer. He was huge at dropping names and also promised to get tickets to the filming of shows on the mainland due to his contacts…funnily enough i never saw them. He would splash cash around, buy gifts etc.

Back then i fell for this man, believed everything he said…the work trips away, the lack of communication as he was in meetings all the time. Id introduced him to my friends…one friend in particular saw straight through his lies…she called channel 7 and tried to track him down…and of course there was no andy tchappat that worked there. I confronted him and he blew it off saying she must have called the wrong department or something like that.

Due to andys increasing non communication and my friends nagging doubts… i left him… i would get texts and phone calls saying how he loved me how we were meant to be together…how we needed to have total honest and open communication for a realtionship to work. And of course that didnt happen so i went my own way. It wasnt until a few years later i ran into him…and the messages started again. He still loved me..we should be together blah blah… we did catch up for coffee and he told me he was part owner of a brothel in sydney and was making over $80 000 a year in just that.. he also said one of his tasmanian friends was over there running it for him. He also said he was regional manager for a lightning company and travelled a lot for work…and he said i should travel with him as his new girlfriend! I was already wary of him…i knew he’d lied in the past…so didnt jump to any conclusions.

He also told me that his dad died a few years ago in a car accident. I didnt doubt him..but never checked up on it either. This last time we so called reconnected we were supposed to meet up for dinner etc…but when i text after a few days of no contact he texts back saying he had been busy on the mainland with meetings for his company.

After reading other womens stories…the constant stream of similar lies… this man will only continue to hurt those around him. I applaud his ex wife for speaking up and i fully support her for solely raising her sons. I had no idea the depth and extent of his lies and deception. All i can say is share this and get word out.

The biggest piece of the puzzle. Susan’s Story.

This is the story I never wanted to put into written words

Why am I doing this, you may ask?

I’ve spent sixteen years in what can only be described as exhaustive and soul-destroying damage control and handling of the situation with Andrew that has negatively impacted every facet of my and my family’s life.  I have turned a blind eye to most to protect my sanity, limit its interference on my life and create a stable and happy future for myself and my boys, but it has nonetheless consumed me in the background as I’ve had to keep tabs on the behaviour so that I know my children are safe enough when they’ve had to see their father.

The catalyst to my finally speaking out was a recent lie regarding his inability to be here for his children on Father’s Day and then a few days later cancelling his agreed time to see the boys due to an extremely important trip to Melbourne where he was required to make 459 (yeah very accurate) people redundant from his company, Gerard Lighting.  He was so stressed about this; that’s the approach he uses to make you feel like you can’t complain at him letting you down because obviously you have to recognise that what he is going through is hell!  Upon calling bullshit here, in my usual fashion I googled and googled and there was nothing in regards to such a large loss of jobs which would most definitely have been in the media.  I googled his name and his company and found “THE BLOG” and my world changed. Once again damage control and child protection instincts kicked in.  Enough was ENOUGH.

I promised myself that I would face this head on from here.  I will not live knowing this monster any longer, nor will I allow him to influence my amazing children a day longer.

In light of that, I want to help provide an insight to anyone out there that may be in a struggle to comprehend the aftermath of knowing him and potentially dealing with the violation of their personal rights. I hope this provides some answers or clarity to those who may be seeking them.

I did find this this incredibly hard to compile.  I’ve left out SO much. Some of it is probably even important and relevant but I’ve learned to block a lot of this part of my life in order to move forward. I’m constantly reminded by friends of occasions that I’d forgotten about whilst we were together and which had clearly had left them in shock and disbelief.

My Story

I have known Andrew since 1999, and we began a relationship in March 2000 when he was 22.  From the start it was very full on and we were inseparable.  He had been living with a friend since he’d been broken up with his ex girlfriend but I don’t think he ever went back there since the day we met, other than to “move out” his belongings.  I was shocked when he turned up to my place and I saw they were all contained in one cardboard box.  No furniture, no household goods, nothing other than some clothes and couple of photos really.  He had nothing other than that and his bomby car.  He said he’d left it all with his ex as she had their son and needed it more.

Andrew had discussed a lot about his family, but I hadn’t met them due to his excommunication from their life and religion.  He had told me part truths, along with some ridiculously big lies as it turns out.  It seems as though he’s forever been obsessed with law and extravagance and name dropping.  He told myself and my family that his mother was a QC in Sydney where he was born and raised (he was born in Launceston) and that the reason they had to relocate to Tasmania was due to her involvement in the infamous Ivan Milat case.  This was according to Andrew, for their safety.

In these early days, Andrew also told us all he was suffering from a form of Cancer, Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and he had been receiving highly expensive and experimental treatment which was only new to Australia and his parents were supposedly funding this.  Completely untrue.  These are just a couple of examples to highlight the type of lies that are part of who he is, always has been and forever will be.

Within a month or two the lease to my 2 bedroom unit was up and we signed a lease on a new cottage in town.  The day before we were due to move, I came home from work to find Andrew had left.  I was distraught.  I drove around in circles not knowing what to do.  As I mentioned, I had never met his family, but I drove to the house he said they lived and was about to knock on the door.  It didn’t seem right and his car wasn’t there so I left it.  Turns out this elaborate house with a lift was never their house so I’m glad.  For some reason I drove to City Park (weird, I never go there) and eventually found him.  Even back then he was irresponsible with money.  A month or so later his car was repossessed.  He wouldn’t answer the finance company’s phone calls or letters so I made arrangements to return it.  He had a terrible track record with finances and was bankrupt at this stage.  I have always been pedantic about paying bills so I took control.

He was working casually at Telstra call centre at this stage and earning next to nothing so I was carrying most of the costs.  I then started working for Westpac and loved it so encouraged him to apply there too as he needed to get his act together and work fulltime so we could afford to buy a house and get married, etc.  He and I worked together at Westpac from 2000.  We married in late 2001.  On our wedding day, it was quite a running joke that Andrew stumbled on the vows…on the word, “f-f-f-f-faithful.”  It wasn’t really a joke.

Andrew used to work as a bouncer occasionally and I would collect him from work at 2-3am when the pubs closed (we only had one car now).  This type of security work excited him, and he then started telling me about one of the bouncers who owned a security business and who did private security work.  He said he was asked to do some as well to which I agreed as it would be extra cash.  He then used to disappear a lot and come home with elaborate stories of what he’d had to do.  This would often involve being a security guard for prostitutes and following people.  Sounded strange but I didn’t question it at the time.

Meanwhile, he would receive calls at times asking him to drive trucks for someone he used to know from when he worked at Gunns Timber.  He would often disappear for the day driving a truck somewhere, often Georgetown where I now know he had another relationship going on.  It seemed odd that he rarely came back with any pay from these and had to chase for it. I would become quite sus about it, but then some money would come so I let it go.  I believe this money that turned up could have been as a result of gambling, or at least that was how he explained it off down the track.

I bought a house before we got married, as Andrew was bankrupt and unable to.  Once he was discharged from bankruptcy, we refinanced the mortgage in his name too so that he could establish a credit rating again – clearly he’s taken off over the years and maxed himself to the hilt again.

I became pregnant with our first son in around March 2002, and Andrew was quite excited and attentive.  Our 2nd son was on the way in around November 2003.  It was during that 2nd pregnancy that the cracks became wide.  He was absent – fully.  He told me that through his security work he’d actually become part of the undercover police force.  He would vanish nearly every night all night nearly, often coming home at 3-4am and never allow me to know where he was as it was “confidential due to the nature of the work”.  I often questioned where the pay was for this work, and again was fobbed off with excuses. I even witnessed fake phone calls where he’d call the Commander of Police asking when his pay would be ready.  He was holding down his Westpac Team Leader role during this time also.

In reading this you’re probably wondering why I let things go, even though I was suspicious?  Now that I’m so far detached from this life I wonder the same thing.  Firstly, the quick and detailed response when questioned is not what you’d expect from catching any normal person lying.  There were none of the normal tell-tale ear pulling, weak stories, twitchy responses.  I would know he was lying but I just couldn’t prove most of it.  I did however, keep a diary of suspected lies in the hope that they would be exposed down the track and there would maybe be a good reason for the lie.  Unfortunately, I no longer have this diary.  Also, I guess part of me wanted to believe that my husband could not be so deceitful with such underhanded motives.

It was throughout this time that he started hiding his car behind our house so it couldn’t be seen from the street.  His excuse was that it was necessary to prevent anyone he had been investigating from following him and seeing where he lived; it was for our safety.  It turns out this was due to the fact that he’d been telling all his women “friends” that we had separated, he no longer lived there and that I had cheated on him/he’d caught me in bed with a woman/I had a new boyfriend, etc…whatever shocking, “feel sorry for me, she’s a bitch excuse” he could think of at the time.  It was ridiculous: I was a housebound new mum!!

The night I went into labour with my 2nd son he wasn’t home.  He turned up just after I’d had a couple of contractions about 11pm.  He had been drinking, although maintained he’d been at the undercover headquarters.  I later discovered he’d actually taken out his main other girlfriend to dinner.

When my 2nd son was around 8 months old, I went to Hobart to the sleep clinic for 8 days.  When I returned home, I found a wedding photo had been moved into his bedside drawer, the one on the wall was crooked as if it had been removed and put back.  It confused me and when I asked about it, I don’t even recall the answer but it was something regarding him cleaning.  Sounded ridiculous but I couldn’t prove anything so let it slide.  As it turned out, a woman he’d been seeing didn’t believe that he had moved out so whilst I was in hospital he invited her around after clearing out all his clothes to the shed and hiding everything that linked us as married so that she could see.  She picked up on this as he made a point of taking her into our bedroom and showing her empty cupboards, but she noticed a couple of dropped coat hangers on the doorstep.

Andrew began to spiral out of control.  At times he appeared to be quite psychotic.  I recall late one night he came tearing home screaming at me to get the sleeping boys (newborn and toddler) out of their bedrooms, that we had to sleep in the lounge room as it wasn’t safe in the front of the house as dangerous people were following him and cars were going to crash through their bedrooms.  That alarmed me.  I refused to wake the boys and live in irrational fear.  It was apparent he was under the influence of something that night.

It wasn’t at all unusual for Andrew to be under the influence of something.  Whilst I never saw any illegal drug use personally, he had no problems in discussing this with others.  He would regularly drink to excess, often vomiting.  My mother once caught my eldest son who was perhaps 3 at the time, bent over a toilet making a loud noise.  When asked what he was doing, my son replied, “vomiting like Daddy.”   Andrew did have an addiction to prescription pain killers, under the guise of back/neck pain or headaches and he seemed to doctor shop to attain these.  I’m aware he still does this.

During this “undercover” work he said his “partner” was xxxx.  I knew her as she also worked at Westpac.  He told elaborate stories of her and how she handled herself with a gun.  I didn’t know her well so I didn’t feel like I could ask her about it.  He would have me pack up the babies and drop him at her house so he could have drinks with her (imaginary) boyfriend.  He had me drop him at the police station and various other places for work, and then she would come and collect him I guess.  I occasionally received odd phone calls from people on the home phone looking for Andrew.  I’d say he wasn’t home and they’d hang up.

At the same time, a couple of people from Westpac had asked if I was ok as they’d heard we had broken up but each time I questioned him over this he talked his way out of it.  I can’t recall all the excuses and cover ups – there were so many.  One night, a good friend of mine called again and said she’d heard we’d split and she was concerned.  I’d had enough. I confronted him when he arrived home and pushed very hard until he started admitting part truths including a long term affair and a pregnancy (this ended in termination) – with his undercover partner.  This was extremely overwhelming.

This is the point that I wanted to leave. He then proceeded to claim he had mental health issues, possibly bipolar and convinced me he felt remorse and regret and couldn’t live without me or his boys.  He begged me to help.  I felt obliged to help this man….my husband and father of my babies.  So over the following few months we attended psychiatric appointments. My father and I both witnessed him lie to and manipulate professionals, and eventually he was given the diagnosis of bipolar he was aiming for in an attempt to validate his behaviour. Though I feel foolish, having given him the chance to get help and seeing that it is just another one of his games I am now much wiser to this part of his emotional manipulation. Saying he needs help is Andrew’s last resort, when all other ploys for empathy and sympathy, and all threats, have failed.

During this time, he was sacked from his role as a Team Leader with Westpac for sexual harassment.  I wasn’t able to gain full details at the time, but later managed to attain some of the summary of allegations, which was rather humiliating.  Without going into enormous detail, the allegations were from approximately six or seven members of his team who provided statements regarding his constant inappropriate sexual discussions, his absenteeism (particularly during weekend shifts when management was scarce) and subsequent return with suggestion he had fulfilled a need.  He would also threaten anyone who suggested warning me of his infidelity.

Andrew then gained employment doing security patrolling of a shopping centre and security checks of buildings overnight which was meant to have him working until about 1-2am.  This work was offered to him by a friend who owned a security company.  He again started disappearing for entire nights, nearly every night.  He was uncontactable.  He would often say he’d gone straight to “undercover” from this job. So immediately after he finishing getting pyschiatric treatment he reverted straight back to his deceitful behaviour.  Eventually, he lost this security job and it’s only come to light to me in the past few weeks that this was due to harassment (sending indecent photos to) of a minor who was working in one of the shops in the centre.

The lies got more constant…. trips to the shop for cigarettes as he’d lost his packet; the hardware store for the 3rd time that day because he’d forgotten a type of nail and he’d be gone for 4 hours; the out of hours court hearings that the Commander of Police had called our home phone and requested he attend. His lies were elaborate and he’d been seen in a phone box on many occasions as calls were obviously not trackable. He would explain in great detail how he was handcuffed on a flight to Melbourne to extradite a dangerous criminal, giving full information on names, crimes, appearance, mannerisms of the criminal…often.  He would frequently be required to investigate and be involved in chasing criminals whilst performing surveillance of poppy fields.

I recall an incident where he came home distraught after being at a scene where someone had died and he recounted how they had fallen against a bar heater and effectively melted.  If only I was less naïve and google was as useful back then and I was as proficient in my detective skills as I am today, I may have uncovered more extravagant rubbish.

Andrew then began working for a commercial cleaning chemical company – Johnson Diversey as a sales rep.  He essentially sold and installed dispensers for detergents and chemicals in businesses, hospitals, supermarket delis, etc.  On finding condoms in his wallet once, he had yet another elaborate story as having been provided them by work as a hygenic cover for his drill when installing dispensers as they caught the shavings and prevented contamination.  (Yes you can laugh now, I didn’t believe it completely but this guy can convince someone they’re insane.)

He said he would fly out to oil rigs and would be out of contact for days as he had to install equipment on them.  He often used to say he had to travel to Woolnorth for the same thing.  He would use any remote location and the excuse that he would be uncontactable due to poor mobile coverage.

 

He would pilfer things from every employer and not just a pen or box of staples but huge quantities of commercial size washing power, cleaning chemicals and dispensers from one employer, giving them to friends and family and goodness knows where else.  He had a corporate credit card and misused this, leading to his loss of employment with this company.  I believe he was using it for personal travel, building materials to build a gazebo for a woman he was having an affair with, and excessive amounts of alcohol for “his customers” as thank you gifts.

Andrew had (and still has) a powerful knack of isolating you from feeling safe in talking to family and friends and I felt so ashamed and confused that I’d ended up in this situation.  However, I was in a headspace at this point in our marriage where I was 99% sure I needed to get out and was trying to work out how on earth and when I was going to do this on my own.  I was still on maternity leave from my job at Westpac at this point and whilst spending my days juggling mum duties and investigating Andrew, I discovered some emails from a secret account.  I became aware that his “undercover partner” was again, pregnant.  Whilst assessing my position with this new and shocking news over the next week I also discovered I was pregnant with our 3rd son.  This changed my whole position and ability to escape.  I had a lot to comprehend.

 

This period culminated in another trip to the psych and a change in medication, and a promise from Andrew that he intended to keep our family together whatever it took, and he agreed he would not acknowledge the other woman/child moving forward.  He was particularly careful in limiting and/or hiding any contact over the period of time before our 3rd child was born in March 2006, but I later became aware he had attended the birth of the other daughter in the same hospital just weeks before showing his face in the same place for the delivery of our 3rd son.  Disgusting, humiliating and shocking.

Johnson-Diversey moved us to Hobart in April 2007.  I was all for a fresh start as I’d since felt pressure to resign from my role with Westpac due to the extreme humiliation and shame he’d caused.  Whilst at this point I was starting to plan my escape again, I was agreeable to leaving Launceston for a fresh start and I perhaps held a glimmer of hope that maybe he was finally on some medication that was going to “fix” him.

In August 2007 it was my birthday and Andrew said he had to go overseas with Johnson-Diversey to Singapore for a week and couldn’t get out of it.  He took cash advances from the credit card (which he knew I was dead against) as he said it wasn’t safe to use credit cards overseas.  He then disappeared for a week, leaving me with the children (4, 3, 1) in a new city with no support network and making no contact.  I spent the week trying to find information on his trip, whilst also setting myself up to escape.  Eventually, I discovered flights to Brisbane with the woman he’d been having an affair and child with. When he returned and was confronted he adamantly refused to admit it, maintaining he’d only paid for her to fly to Brisbane for a holiday (in lieu of child support) and that he flew on to Singapore.  He then went into elaborate detail as only Andrew can about the scenery, the weather, the hovercraft ride he went on from Singapore to Macau (yes I googled that and I know it’s ridiculous).  He brought home a map of Macau, Pumpkin Patch winter clothes for the boys – AS IF they would sell those in Singapore – a pair of havianas for me and an ugly top.  All of which I am sure were purchased at Brisbane airport.

Confronting Andrew achieves nothing, other than the two occasions I pushed and ended up with bruises.  Not the bashing type, but the forceful grabbing, twisting of an arm and throwing against furniture type.  These were seen by my family.  He doesn’t like to be challenged and will lash out when he is.  Andrew always resorts to threats and intimidation.  He uses fear tactics to control.  He has an uncanny knack of recalling any possible dirt he thinks will rattle you and will threaten to use it against you.

I was leaving.  I was scared.  Another one of his tactics was to isolate me from friends, who he always told me had been talking about me behind my back, and I had no family around.  For the sake of my children I had to go and I’d financially planned around escaping so I was ready.  Andrew then admitted himself into a psych clinic in a desperate attempt to control me and make me stay.  I attended appointments with the psychiatrist and discussed my concerns regarding his actual diagnosis.  I explained my research and belief that he was not bipolar but a sociopath with a plethora of high functioning personality disorders.  He agreed.  I asked what could be done to help someone like that and will always recall the answer, “Nothing really……other than therapy which may help a bit but essentially he will be as he is”  I was then told in a very indirect and tactful way to flee from the relationship for the sake of my children and my own sanity/safety.

The months that followed were horrendous.  He attempted to tell my family that I was bipolar and it was ME that had mental health problems.  He tried his best to discredit me to my parents in an attempt to stop them believing what I was about to reveal. I still investigated because I was concerned about his contact with the children, and I saw things online that made me feel ill.

His womanising continued in a disgraceful way. It was becoming apparent that the number of women that he was now interacting with had magnified immensely.  I was aware that he was seeing handfuls of women at the same time, telling them elaborate stories about his wealth, numerous assets (land, cars, boats, houses, pubs) . Now he was posing as a lawyer for Channel 7.  It made me feel sick but I was free from him on a personal level so I had to choose not to care.

I was extremely uncomfortable with him having any custody of the boys as they were very young, but I allowed it initially thinking it would be in their best interests to see their father. I would then hear stories (both from my 5 year old and later the woman that briefly lived with him) that he was feeding them alcohol, taking various drugs, drink driving with them, not supervising them appropriately – ie he’d be hungover and wouldn’t get up in the morning other than to turn the TV on for the boys and go back to bed.  This frightened me as my youngest was under 2, barely walking and there was a large staircase in his house.  I also once discovered a gun behind his couch when I dropped off my children. My youngest went to pull it out and asked him what it was.  He didn’t have a gun licence.

These issues led me to seek full custody.  I collated information and went to see a lawyer.  Andrew harassed me constantly and intimidated me so much I was living in fear.  He would call my phone repeatedly, 20 times or more until I answered.  He would send text after text making demands.  He would go from begging and pleading to abusive name calling and threatening to fight me for the children.  On several occasions when I turned my phone off and refused to answer, he turned up on my doorstep to continue.  My then partner was also witness to this harassment and verbal abuse.  I applied and was approved for an FVO to ensure he kept his distance from myself and the children in an emotionally or verbally abusive way.  So since 2008 I have had sole parental responsibility for my boys and he only sees them at times agreed by both parties.  As time went on and the children became less demanding (ie not in nappies) I relented and gave him more time: weekends, and one weeknight. However he would often cancel due to “work commitments”.

 

Mid 2008 he moved in with a girlfriend who became his new enabler, his base relationship to come back to.  He needs this type of person and their financial stability and attention to maintain a façade, particularly one of being in a stable family environment.  This woman has been there consistently throughout my boys’ lives for 8 years and is largely the reason I had allowed him the custody to the level he has enjoyed as he is unstable and untrustworthy on his own.  During this 8 year period I have always been aware that he has continued his cheating and multiple relationships and living his delusions of grandeur lifestyles, putting her at risk financially, emotionally and physically.  I have found it extremely hard to stand by and watch this happen, but until someone is ready to accept the truth of what Andrew is about there is little anyone can do. I have been approached on a number of occasions and relayed my information, but he has been able to talk his way out of things and convince her to stay with him every time.

Later in 2008 he continued to conduct several additional relationships. One in particular involved the children. He would take them to her (well known) family functions and parade them around acting as though he was a model parent.  This woman and I have had numerous conversations since and I was made aware he had again claimed to have Cancer.  This was particularly close to this woman given that she lost her mother to the illness.  It’s abhorrent to think anyone could lie about having something so serious and sensitive to many people.  He was also simultaneously conducting a very full on relationship in Adelaide with a woman, introducing her to work colleagues and discussing buying a house over there.  I was disgusted he was displaying this brazen polygamous behaviour around impressionable young boys.  After speaking with many women,  Andrew was confronted and cornered and again played the, “yeah I’ve got a problem card” again.

I became aware of a Sydney girlfriend in perhaps 2013 when the children kept mentioning her name.  Upon questioning him, he maintained she worked with him (his usual reason for knowing all his female “friends”) and that she had a husband (everyone does conveniently). Over the next 3 years my children would often debrief with me about this woman.  He made them call her when he had them, sing happy birthday to her, talk to her kids.  The boys would tell me they felt really weird about it, because it was never in front of the woman they knew as their father’s partner.  What children should ever have to deal with such crap at such a young age!!!!  The poor kids were often introduced to their dad’s “friends” over coffee dates or meetups in a park.  Lying to adults is disgusting, but lying and deceiving your children like that is a whole other level!!

His absenteeism was also a constant theme in the boys’ lives. Weekends away, supposed work trips to Bali for conferences and functions on Hamilton Island, you name it….he was always away.  And somehow, he managed to make us feel guilty for the boys feeling let down. His social media use has always been secretive and he’s only ever been linked to people in certain aspects of his life, none in reality. What father wouldn’t want to be his childrens’ first friend on Facebook?

And now I fast forward to the past few weeks. The behaviour was getting to the point where I was about to lose the plot.  Every week there was a let down: he couldn’t see his boys on Father’s Day as he was away in Sydney for “work”. The following weekend it was that he was called to Melbourne in his capacity as a Tasmanian Regional Manager (hmm) to make 459 people redundant from his company, Gerard Lighting.  Wow, big news and so traumatic for him. How could anyone possibly challenge him on letting his children down given he had to do something like this?!  I knew it was lies, and I’d had enough as I was the one seeing the upset children again and again.  And sure enough, after substantial research I could see no media reporting about massive job losses.

With some more googling of his name and his company I discovered Jo’s blog…and out came my answers and the release of the demons I’ve been supressing for years.

As it turns out, Andrew has been for the last 8 years (more if you count the affairs when I was married) living multiple lives, living in multiple relationships, juggling multiple everything!!! He had his Tasmanian relationship of 8 years in the background, he’d been seeing someone for 3 years in Sydney who he’d been burning thousands and thousands of dollars on and who he became engaged to in March 2016.  All of this whilst online dating on Tinder and various other dating sites and frequenting sex workers several times a week, and seeking out goodness knows how many women on social media. Nearly everyone was under the impression he was a lawyer and worked for a TV station, and had a lot of famous name friends.  Scarily enough, he’d managed to attain and suck in some big name friends. He can sell ice to the eskimos and he can sell you his story and you’ll believe it no matter how smart you are.

This cyclic behaviour has happened more times than I care to recall since I left. I managed to feign an amicable relationship with Andrew for sometime by turning a blind eye to his behaviours.  It gets tiring being consumed by what he is up to, and you have to switch it off for your own sanity.  I always tracked and saw the lies – particularly annoying was the insistence that he was a commercial lawyer – but until such point as they impact my children, I have chosen to ignore them and focus on my and my boys’ lives. It is now severely impacting their lives and I can no longer pretend it isn’t happening.

I cannot stress enough how much this man will make you believe anything, even though you have your mind in a headspace beforehand to not be sucked in by his elaborate, emotionally charged stories, and the tears and false emotions. To this day, he still has that creepy power over me so I feel for everyone out there who doesn’t know him like I do and fall for it every time. This man does not know how to feel empathy, nor does he feel genuine feelings of guilt or remorse for anything.  I firmly believe this no matter how much he tries to convince you otherwise.

8 years after leaving this man, I have once again been financially affected by his irresponsibility.  He had convinced me some 3 years ago to sell my car (which I fully owned) because it was ageing and needed some expensive mechanical work.  He acknowledged that he’d destroyed me in the past and financially gained at my expense, and now he was in a financial position to put things right and help get me into a new car, so that his children were travelling in safety.  I declined for some time, but foolishly I accepted thinking he was putting his children first, selling my car for cash and contributing this towards a new car – he was paying the difference.  He told me that this was possible due to the extra money he’d been earning through his brothel ownership in Sydney and that it wasn’t really him paying for it but “pussy paying for my car.” so I shouldn’t feel bad.  As it turns out, he had done this under finance over 5 years, and upon investigation I have discovered now that there is over $10000 remaining which I am now responsible for, or my car will be repossessed.  Another kick in the guts.

 

I could honestly go on for days writing this but it has been more than draining on my self esteem and my family has suffered long enough from his ability to control my life and my thoughts.  I need this to stop.  I need him to stop.  I simply want people to know that you cannot trust this man, you cannot save this man, you cannot allow yourself to accept a call from this man.  I promise you, he will always manage to make you doubt everything you know as real and right.   If I can ask you to do one thing after reading all of these, it’s PLEASE share your experience to expose the magnitude of people he has attempted to destroy.  If you are confused then contact me, I will answer anything to help.  My boys will no longer be seeing him, and I will fight with everything I’ve got to protect them from the emotional manipulation and damage that someone like him will cause.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Multiple Affairs

I was reacquainted with Andy on Facebook on 23rd April 2008.  He was a year below me in Highschool and his ice breaker to me was he had a crush on me back then.  He seemed to know a lot about me already so I didn’t doubt him.

The following week he came up to lton..and we had dinner.  Straight up he was telling me he loved me and wanted to be with me.  Over the next couple of months he told me he was extremely busy at work and it was necessary for him to travel to Adelaide often to help set up the new branch of his company, Statewide.  When he was away I was lucky to get an email or text once a day..i questioned him on this and he told me to be patient and things would go back to normal soon.  At this point also I might add he convinced me to deactivate my Facebook account.

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May 10th he went to Adelaide for “business” and I hardly heard from him. When he returned he told me he had smashed his phone and lost my number..he was very frantic when I called him. June 4th Id had enough waiting and being patient and told him to go sort his sh$$ out and come back to me only when he had. He cried on the phone and told me he loved me etc etc..he even told me he was applying for a transfer and we were going to move away together!! I didn’t hear from him again until last week, I changed my mobile number and texted my whole contact list with my new number..forgot he was on it. He phoned me straight away told me he couldn’t live without me etc etc and we arranged to meet (last night) to discuss things. He told me about you XXXXX, he said you were an old work friend whom he had kept in contact with and he caught up with you and your husband, Nick regularly. There is so much more I could add regarding the lies he told. Things like referencing that Grant Tucker (a local lawyer) had passed the bar at the same time as he did. He also claimed he had represented Mick Gatto! He mentioned he’d previously had testicular cancer to gain sympathy I can only assume? He talked a lot about his relationship with his ex wife, Susan saying that they were still great friends but that her best friend had tried to join him in the shower at one point, so she shouldn’t be trusted. He mentioned when he was with living with xxxxxx briefly after Susan and he had split that she refused to allow him any photos of his kids in the house, but plastered hers all around. I knew there was something off about Andy from the word go so I kept him at arms length, my instincts were right!!! He also caused trouble for me because I’d dated someone in local government in the past and he falsely told people that this person was the father of my children and had been violent towards me. All fabrications, which infuriated the man concerned obviously. Things constantly come back to me regarding the crap he told me. He doesn’t scare me at all. I hope this helps in some way to warn others and stop him.

 

Another one, this one in Queensland

Andy dated me for a bit too. Around the end of 2011, finishing up early 2012.

We met in a night club when he was on a ‘bucks night’, although I don’t really remember any other males around at the time.

He started texting and ringing, He flew me to Melbourne for the cup,  enticing me by saying we’d be partying with the Sunrise crew, which we just never happened to run into, and also told me he’d booked us business class tickets to Hong Kong for a week holiday, which we never got around to doing (?)

There was never any mention of past partners or children.  I kind of saw him as a bloke who was a bit socially awkward, so that might have explained why he hadn’t been in relationships before.

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His stories were constantly changing, and didn’t really ever follow logical patterns. He was a ‘Lawyer’ who also “owned a traffic control company” which he “sold his share for $4M”. He previously “worked at a channel 7 lawyer”. I didn’t have a lot of interest in anything flashy – I’m not from a ritzy background, it appeared that thee stories became more elaborate the less interested I became. He took me to Tassie, once we had to leave a restaurant because ‘a client who he’d put in jail who got out of jail walked in, so we had to go’. He drove me around pointing out houses that he ‘owned’ which was kind of weird also. I have no interest in property. I never met any of his friends, but he really wanted to become a part of my friend circle. He told me he loved me a few times – which was completely out of the norm – we barely knew each other. I would never return the phrase. He constantly wanted me to feel as though he was very wealthy and happy to flash cash around. He befriended my Mum, that definitely made me uncomfortable. That was a massive red flag. We lived in separate states, he rocked up at my front door one night – which apparently he’d organised with my mum – and I was shocked – and gave a massive “what the fuck are you doing here”. He also asked to be part of my family Christmas, which I wouldn’t invite him to. He made a big effort to make me feel bad for excluding him from this. He still sends me messages occasionally. Strange picture messages of a dog, or lines of cocaine or something to do with my profession. Occasionally I reply and shrug it off, most of the time I just leave the messages unread. I?m very lucky by comparison. It makes me really sad to hear the stories of these other ladies and his children. I’m not sure what he wanted from me, or what he got from me. But I’m disappointed to read what he’s put so many other ladies through. Stay strong Queens.

 

The Real Lawyer’s Story

I could write a book! but lets keep it simple:

These are the lies I was told by Andrew Tchappat:

Out of the blue one day in 2008 I got a phone call. He introduced himself as ‘Andy’ and told me he was my friend’s boyfriend. He was calling me because she needed Family Law advice. He told me HE WAS A LAWYER but specialized in Commercial and Corporate, but that he was helping her by preparing her papers and affidavit and just wanted to make sure he was on the right track as Family Law was not his area.

Andy called me several times. At first it was strictly business’ preparing court documents for my friend. But he was never with her and wouldn’t let me speak to her.

At the time I had just left my ex-husband, who was a violent narcissist.
Andy said he could help me. He said he had been AN UNDERCOVER POLICE OFFICER and still had ties within the force.

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I gave him the advice he needed, told him how to edit the affidavits (which I found a little odd? all lawyers know hearsay is inadmissible but he didn’t seem to realise, anyway?). He told me that she would be representing herself as he was not able to appear in the Family Court (but strange given it is a National Court, but again, whatever!) Throughout this whole process he stressed I should not talk to my friend. Now, reading her story, it seems he was claiming we talked for hours every night. Wonder who he was talking to??? Also, given his property law experience and that he was LEGAL COUNSEL FOR WESFARMERS on a national level, I actually asked him legal advice for my work!!! He responded in email, from his work address, with a signature block that said he was ‘legal counsel’! He said he had NUMEROUS PROPERTIES in Tasmania. It didn’t take much research to find out that the properties he said he owned were not his. He claimed he had them in different names to avoid child support payments. He said he was a CORPORATE LAWYER, but didn’t seem to know the first thing about legal practice. He didn’t even recognize the most well-known cases from law school. His company was looking to expand into the Canberra space and he was looking at a potential office space. He listed the address of the space, which was already leased. And to a local liquidation company! not Wesfarmers! After a month or so, he told me he had broken up with my friend. That things weren,t working out. I messaged her over FB to see she was OK, but she didn,t know what I was talking about. It seemed odd. I told him so. He turned on me and told me not to talk to her anymore, that SHE WAS CRAZY. He must have told her the same about me ? because she stopped speaking to me too? I received an email one day from a girl (not my friend) claiming to be his girlfriend. She suspected he was cheating on her and was gathering information. I spoke to her, and his ex-wife and suddenly there were about 10 different girls whom, he was either pursuing or in a ,relationship, with. These girls were in NSW, SA and Tas. After I questioned him about all of this, HE THREATENED ME that if I ever told anyone about any of this story he would ruin me. I remember being so scared I turned my phone off for days. The most dangerous thing about Andrew is that he somehow gets you to believe so strongly in the things he tells you that you just go with it. Despite now reading back on all this I feel stupid, and gullible, and most of all like a really bad friend? How could I turn my back on my friend and trust him just because he told me to??? Luckily, he didn,t succeed in pulling my friend and I apart. Through his lies, we are closer. The network of friends I have made through this situation is amazing. If you,re reading this and you too have been a victim of his lies, please know you are not alone and that we are all here to support you. Love and light, Queens!

 

A Brother’s Concern

27th August 2008

To whom it concerns,

I, xxxxxxxxxx, have know Andrew David Tchappat since March 2000 in his capacity as partner to my sister, Susan, and father to my nephews xxxxxxxxxxt. In that time I have found him to be an abuser of alcohol, a drug user, a narcissist and severely dishonest.

He has on multiple occasions glorified the abuse of alcohol in front of his children, and to his children. I remember one particular instance when xxxxxxxxxxwas about 2 years old of him holding the beer he was drinking up to xxxxxxxxxx’s mouth and encouraging him to drink it. This behaviour resulted in xxxxxxxxxx often asking for beer to drink, which I understood as an effort to copy his father. Andrew would laugh about this and show no recognition to xxxxxxxxxx of the potential for alcohol to be a dangerous substance. I often witnessed Andrew drink alcohol to excess in front of the children and he would be disengaged and unhelpful with all tasks related to caring for the children, leaving all the work to Susan.

On many occasions Andrew confessed his drug use to me, he would regularly smoke marijuana and try to hide it from Susan. He also claimed to regularly use ecstasy and cocaine when it was available to him. This drug abuse became apparent to me, when one night he arrived home in a psychotic state and cowered in the dark in the lounge room fearful and believing that he was being followed. Susan took him to hospital to be assessed, and he was given a perfunctory diagnosis of bi-polar disorder. I was present when he subsequently admitted that this episode was brought about by his drug use that night. I have no reason to believe that Andrew has changed his ways in this regard.

Over the years I have known Andrew he has displayed the ability to weave extremely complex and intricate stories that are relayed as fact, but which in actuality are tremendous lies. I believe that Andrew is particularly skilled in deception. An example I experienced was when he told Susan that he was required to leave her and the three children on Susan’s birthday and travel to Singapore for his work as the South-East Asian manager of Johnson-Diversey (a lie in itself). In a subsequent confession he admitted that he had in actual fact been in Brisbane conducting an illicit extra-marital affair. The level of detail he went to to maintain this lie was uncanny. He would describe his surroundings and experiences in great detail on the phone and we had little choice but to assume nothing was amiss.

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This aspect of Andrew’s personality is already showing signs of rubbing off on his children. xxxxxxxxxx has developed a habit of telling complex, detailed and blatantly false stories too, which he also presents as fact. I worry that his father’s continued influence will reinforce this habit and nurture it from imaginative play to deliberate lying. In my experience from when Andrew and Susan were still together, Andrew was generally inattentive towards his children. Susan was almost solely responsible for both practical care-giving and discipline, comfort and emotional security. The attention Andrew did pay the boys always had the appearance of “putting on a show”. He would sometimes effuse about how much he loved them, but I never once saw him play with them and he rarely took them on solo outings except at Susan’s insistence. This inattentiveness hasn’t changed since his separation from Susan. For example at 6:30pm on the 13th of August 2008 I rang Andrew’s house where the children were staying that night to speak to xxxxxxxxxx to wish him a happy birthday. Andrew told me that I couldn’t speak to xxxxxxxxxx because he had been put to bed. This was a whole hour earlier than the boys usual bedtime and is consistent with the testimony of Andrew’s former live-in lover xxxxxxxxxx, that he would put the boys to bed as early as possible so he didn’t have to deal with them. It is my belief that Andrew Tchappat is unfit to have unsupervised access to his children. I believe the harm inflicted upon xxxxxxxxxx by his example is unbearable. His poor standard of care and his dishonesty make him unsuitable to take care of himself let alone take care of his children. I sincerely hope that any access to his children in the immediate future is only allowed with the supervision of a functioning adult. Yours Sincerely, xxxxxxxxxx

 

A Letter for the Courts

27 August 2008

For your solicitor

Today I spoke with Sergeant John King at Launceston Police Station about Andrew Tchappat’s work as a civilian under-cover operative. He advised me that the Tasmanian police use no undercover civilians at all and never have.

Andrew claimed he was receiving cash payments from the Commander for the undercover work.

Andrew claimed to have had police training in the use of hand-guns and had to attend certification shoots.

Andrew claims to have been involved in the surveillance of a supposed known criminal, at Ravenswood on drug dealing and was involved in subsequent arrest.

Andrew claims to have accompanied a prisoner on a flight to Melbourne and another being transferred by road from Launceston Remand Centre to Risdon Prison, stating to us that it was David Henty.

Andrew claimed to us that he was on under-cover surveillance work on poppy crops at Tasmanian Alkaloids.

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None of the above claims by Andrew are true! They were just excuses to be away from home and his family! Two years ago my wife and I were shown bruising by Susan on her upper left arm, with marks indicating extreme force being exerted by someone’s fingers. Susan stated that it was done by Andrew in anger when she confronted him with telling lies. Andrew admitted to us that he has on occasions taken cocaine, ecstasy and marijuana, and when combined with the excessive amounts of alcohol he drinks, his whole demeanour changes to that of a very aggressive, paranoid, deluded and out of control person. Whilst under the influence of these substances he uses unacceptable language and his behaviour is inappropriate in front of his young children. Andrew regularly drinks excessive amounts of alcohol and has been seen to flout the law by then driving whilst under the influence of alcohol. Andrew claims to be studying Law but no evidence has been found to support this claim. Andrew repeatedly spoke to us regarding personal matters relating to his family, most of which, unfortunately we cannot substantiate. There was one story however, in which he had claimed his mother was a Queen’s Counsel, working with both Launceston and Sydney courts. This story was repeatedly told to us until, when questioned further by Susan at a later date, he admitted that he had told lies to cover up his embarrassment over his perception that his mother lacked intelligence. As a result of these issues, we feel that it would be counter productive for Andrew to be solely in charge of his children, as their ongoing welfare is of concern to us. Ian & Anne Kershaw Maternal Grandparents

 

Kate’s Story

My name is Kate and I’m the first girl Andrew got with 19 years ago. I first met Andrew when he was working for his fathers company. We hitted off really well and I thought he was a lovely guy. He asked me out but I wasn’t really that keen on going out with him but anyway we ended up going out. We had started a relationship that got very serious quiet quick. One night he ended up on my doorstep and said he had left the church and his family had kicked him out and he had nowhere to go. Andrew moved in with me and also left his fathers company. Andrew was very warming and got along so well with my family and classed them as his own family and they treated him like a son. After being together for a couple of years we them got engaged and we decided to take my parents to Melbourne for a few days. Before we had planned our trip we had both decided to try for a baby. I was very young but everything was going so great between us and we had our whole future planned. So anyway while we were in Melbourne we conceived our son. I was only 5wks pregnant when I started to become very sick with the pregnancy and had to be put into hospital a few times. At this point Andrew was working as a security guard at the gorge in town and at nights at pubs.

 

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I trusted Andrew but was always a little nervous as he told me before we got together he was with a gorgeous top model called Sara. He told me how totally gorgeous she was and that he loved her so much which always made me feel not good enough. So long nights started to happen and Andrew would work very late and come home and jump straight in the shower. A good friend of ours had told me he had been fooling around with some ladies after work at the pubs, being very heavily pregnant and still sick I didn’t have the energy to even think or believe this. Andrew would go and get me and my family takeaways and sometimes be gone for hours and telling us oh the shop was shut I had to wait for it to be open. He would also come home from working at the gorge with love bites on his neck but tell me an insect bit him!! He also got stung by a bee and had a reaction so was taken to hospital and told the nurses his chest was shaved because he was a private investigator and had to wear a wire!! He also pulled over a kid on his bike and told the kid he was a cop. Andrew was always very obsessed with my grandfather as he was a retired cop. Ok so I went into labour and was taken to hospital and was in labour for 19 hours, Andrew slept on the couch at the hospital most of that time while my mum helped me give birth. Our son was finally born and I was ready to come home but Andrew kept making up excuses on why I couldn’t come home yet. So a few weeks went by and mum and I was in town pushing my son along in the pram and this very abrupt woman stopped me in the mall demanding her key back to her place. As shocked as I was hearing this lady bellow at me saying Andrew had been seeing her for quiet a period of time and had a key to her place. So then others started to come out and his so called friends pulled the pin on him and told me about all the women he had been with. I at this point was not dealing well with any of it and also having a new born baby was all too much. He told this lady I was in hospital on suicide watch so he couldn’t leave me but in fact I was giving birth to our son. So I then got a call from his mum telling me even more truths and that Andrew had never had a girlfriend I was his first which explains a hell of a lot now. I finally left him but always told him he could see his son whenever he wanted but unfortunately Andrew wanted nothing to do with our son. Few years later he met Susan and was still in contact with me not to find out how his son was but just to see if I would jump into bed with him. Susan and Andrew were getting married and the night before they got married he ended up on my doorstep asking if he could have sex with me. I slammed the door at him and told him to piss off. 18 years on Andrew still has nothing to do with our son but to this very day still messages me wanting dirty weekends away and telling more and more lies to me and sending me naked pics of himself. My son has grown into a very lovely young man and to this day doesn’t know his father. I’m sure I’ve missed so much out on my story but this is just a peek at my story with him.

 

Miriam’s Story

Here is a statement from a girl Andy dated after Susan had left him.  Makes for interesting reading.  Especially the fact that even back in 2007/2008 he was already claiming to be a lawyer.

 

Statement

27/8/08

Andrew Tchappat rang me one day out of the blue. He said he had found my number on facebook and hoped I didn’t mind him calling. He said that he had seen that I had cancer, and was wondering if I was ok. I couldn’t remember him, but he told me that we had been friends many many years ago. My memory is pretty bad, so I accepted this. He said that I had known his ex-wife Susan through a friend when he worked at Vision Internet as that’s where she worked. I vaguely remembered a Susan working there.

He told me that he had cancer before in his leg somewhere, but it had been removed and he was fine now, and I would be fine too.

He also said that he lived in Sydney and was a lawyer for Channel 7 and/or Channel 9. He mentioned a lot of names of people that I knew as my husband worked for both Channel 7 and 9. He said that he traveled a lot and that he was moving back to Tasmania (I think – he was vague on this one…).

The phone calls kept increasing and he continued to tell me how wonderful his life was – he had a great career and earned in the vicinity of $200,000 a year. He told me that he drove a black BMW and that he owned 7 houses/units in Tasmania. He was vague on this too, as once he told me that he had just bought another house a few months ago, then obviously forgot he told me as he was unsure when I mentioned it at a later date.

He told me that he traveled a lot for work and that he was in charge of New Zealand, Tasmania, and Western Australia.

He mentioned that he owned 2 motorbikes (one being a Suzuki GSR and the other was a Ducati 996) and a jetski…and that he had traveled from Bellerive (I think) to the other side of the river on a JETSKI!

 

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He also said that he had worked as an undercover agent for the police force while he was with Susan. That what he had seen had scarred him quite badly, and he knew that putting Susan through all that was very hard on her. He said that she just couldn’t handle his job, She was the one who said yes, do it, we need the money, but once he was away all the time, she told him she wanted him to stop, but he couldn’t as he had already signed the contract. He said he could understand that his being away from her and the boys for work so much would drive her away. He said that he still had a great relationship with Susan and would go and hang out with her and her new boyfriend all the time. I was, at this point in the process of divorcing my husband. Andy was very supportive through this, and said all the wonderful things that I needed to hear. He began talking with my 11 year old son on the phone and saying how he had already bought him a slot car set for when he came to visit. He even spoke with my daugher on the phone and said how he wished he was her father. I thought this very strange and I felt a little uncomfortable, but I let it go and just figured he must really have meant everything that he had said. He told me that he had been in love with me for about 10 years, even before he married Susan. He said that the only reason he didn’t approach me was because I always had a boyfriend. He said that Susan was aware of his feelings for me, and when he mentioned to her that he was talking to me on the phone, that Susan had encouraged him to pursue me. My divorce was meant to be final at the end of January, but I decided to give it a go with my husband, and Andy was devastated and crying when I told him the news. We had not committed to anything at this point, and I had never said I had feelings for him. He was saying that he loved me on the phone, but I would never say it back. He would call me all the time asking if I was ok and promising me the world. He would always mention the heaps of travel he had to do for his job. Once he said he had to go to WA for work, and he rang me while he was there, saying that he had graduated from some program for lawyers and he was one of only two in Australia or something and that overnight he has received a $40,000 pay increase, and was at a dinner about to give his acceptance speech. He also made constant mention of many women all wanting him, and he would always tell me that he would say to them ‘there is only one woman who has my heart’. Etc etc. He also asked me if I liked It Takes Two and told me that he had tickets for us to go and be in the audience due to his connections at Channel 7. He told me that he had recently been to Ecuador (where I grew up) on work with Channel 7 and loved it and wanted to go back. He said that he had already paid for a trip for himself and me to go to Ecuador in July 2008, but that he had postponed it when I decided to work things out with my husband. He told my son that this trip was happening and that we would see him when we were there (my son would have been there already visiting his father). He said that the tickets had to be used up by January 2009 and that they would be there waiting for me, even if I just wanted to be friends. He kept saying that he didn’t mind if nothing happened between us, so long as we could remain good friends. I had decided to come home to Tasmania for Easter (thing with my husband had not improved, and I was deciding if I wanted to move back to Tasmania or not, I had already told my husband that I was). Andy told me that he would book and pay for my flights and that I could use his car while I was there. I just needed to fly into Hobart instead of Launceston I mentioned this to my husband, and he said that he would rather pay for the flights. So I cancelled the ones I had booked that Andy said he would reimburse me for, and I rebooked flights into Launceston so I wouldn’t be picked up by Andy. I ended up meeting Andy for lunch one afternoon while we were there, with my kids, and he seemed great with the kids. We had lunch and talked and got along great. I organized babysitters and we went out on the Saturday night and had a great time. He paid for everything and led me to believe that he was very rich…not just that, but caring and wonderful. Andrew kept insisting that I move back to Tasmania and that he would help me relocate. Even if it was as friends, but by this time he was declaring that he would be 100% faithful and that he would commit himself to me totally. That I was worth the wait and that he loved me with all his heart. He was calling me princess and his ‘rock’. He said if I came back that he would help by paying $100 towards my rent until I found a job and that he would give me a visa card that was linked to his bank account; He even told me that he wanted me to be in charge of his finances! I didn’t want to get into a relationship so soon after leaving my husband, so I was taking things a bit slower. But then things just seemed so great, it was like we were a couple. I returned to Adelaide to collect my things and drive back to Tasmania. During this time, my husband took off with our daughter and didn’t return her. I was told to return to Tasmania and file in the courts to get her back. Andrew, this whole time, was telling me that he was a lawyer and would help me get her back. HE WAS GIVING ME LEGAL ADVICE!!! He was also teaming up with my friend (another lawyer) to get my child back. They would call each other constantly, saying it was all to help me. But I very rarely heard from the friend. In the end, I got the child back, and came back to Tasmania. It was suggested that I come down to Hobart with Andy for 6 or so weeks with my child to recover from what was going on. On one occasion when we were in Launceston, Andy had organized a test drive for a BMW X5, saying that if I liked it he would buy it for us so all our kids would fit. He even took it out to my parents and let my dad drive it! He said that he had owned 4 BMW’s already and that they knew him at the dealership and loved him because he always bought their cars. Andy said that it was important for us to tell everyone that we were just friends until our divorces went through, even though he was talking about marriage and buying a house and a 7 seater to fit all the kids in. I stayed at his house for 7 weeks. This was an interesting time. He was away a lot for ‘work’ – weekends, and late nights (assessing claims or out of hours court hearings) , and I didn’t see him much at all. He told me he traveled to New Zealand once or twice a month, and to every state that he managed every month, so it was a lot of time away. This was when he mentioned working for Wesfarmers Insurance as their solicitor and also sales manager. He then told me that there was a new solicitor starting that he had to train up to take over some of his work load. He even went to Sydney to interview these guys. One interview took place in a hotel at the Melbourne airport at 10pm as he had to fly to Canberra the next morning to be admitted to the court or something. At one point he was away heaps even after this new solicitor had started, and when I questioned him, he told me that he had slipped on the steps at work and hurt his back and was out of action for a while. This was when Andy told me he had to go to New Zealand to fire an employee. I dropped him off at the airport and picked him up again. He didn’t call me while he was away saying that he was very busy. He would have his 3 boys every 2nd weekend and every 2nd Thursday night. But on many of these times he had to change the dates or just couldn’t have them due to ‘work commitments’. When the boys were there, they were always interesting times as he didn’t seem to cope very well with them being there. Every night they were there were there, they were made to be in the bath by 6.30 and in bed not making a sound by 7.00 as that was when Big Brother was on. This was on Friday and Saturday nights too. Saturday mornings often I would get up and quieten the kids down so they didn’t disturb him. If he was up with them, he would put the TV on quiet and lie down and sleep on the couch and tell them to be quiet. I commented on this to him plenty of times. I said to him that I never saw him interacting with the kids…when I first came down to Hobart, we took the kids on a picnic, but that was only once. He would always say that he couldn’t wait til we had a 7 seater so I could take the kids and let him sleep. He would sleep on the couch all through the days the boys were there and jokingly say he needed a ‘nana-nap’. He always told his son he had a headache and asked him to massage his head. This was usually followed by taking some pills. (not sure, but think they were panadol or panadein) On one occasion, my son had come down from Launceston and Andy had promised to take all the boys fishing. We were eating breakfast. Andy had a phone call, and within half an hour, the boys were dressed and heading to Burnie overnight with their dad to visit a friend from the Brethren who was having a nervous breakdown due to his kids being still in the Brethren. When I first arrived I was buying all the groceries and cooking meals for everyone – us and the kids. I was always cleaning up after the boys too. Andy would say ‘don’t, I will do it later’ but I couldn’t stand the mess so would clean up. After a while I realized that I probably wouldn’t be getting that visa card, or any help with food. When I questioned him, he said that Grant Tucker said it was a bad idea to give me a visa card while he was still married to Susan. I stopped buying nice food and Andy started buying the groceries…we would often run out of stuff. The boys ate a lot of unhealthy food when I was there, and we would often argue about it as I didn’t like my daughter eating it. He would often be taking pills for his headaches and he would drink lots and lots of alcohol. Sometimes taking his pills WITH alcohol. Every night he would drink and it was always in excess of 4 glasses and on many occasions even more than 1 bottle – sometimes an entire bottle of whisky. When I came down for the 2 weeks that I didn’t have my daughter (when he was helping me to get her back) we would drink every night. I don’t usually do this, but he would come back with boxes of alcohol from the bottle shop. Whisky, beer and girly drinks for me. At first I though it was ok – I didn’t have to work or anything, so I kind of unwound a bit. But when it continued, even after I had my daughter back – I told him that he was drinking too much and it needed to stop. He would get angry and say that he needed it to unwind from his stressful job. He would also give the boys beer to drink at dinner time when they would ask for some of what he was drinking. He would put his youngest son’s in his sippy cup and the other two either had it in their glass or would swig from the bottle when there was a little bit left. He would also mention drug taking a lot. He asked me what I would do if he had friends around who took drugs. I said I would be very uncomfortable with this, especially if there were kids in the house. He said it wouldn’t matter if the kids were asleep, and that they wouldn’t know as he wouldn’t take them, just his friends. I made it quite clear that I would not tolerate drug taking. He asked me on another occasion what I would do if I was at a party where everyone was taking drugs. I said that it was none of my business, but if he ever took drugs that I would dump him then and there. Again he got angry with me and said that I could not tell him what to do and if I told him not to do something that he would do it. He went up to Sydney on one occasion to be with his cousin and they went to some horse races or something. He told me that he had put $100 on a horse and won a few thousand dollars, he then told me that later that day he had put money on another horse and won us a deposit on a house – of $23,000. He sms’d me a blurry photo of the winning ticket, but I never heard about that money again. He said that everyone he was with was taking drugs, and that he went into the bathroom to do it, but decided that he was having enough fun with just alcohol and that he didn’t take them and was I proud of him. I said that I wasn’t as he should never have been in that situation in the first place. He also sat me down at the very start and told me that he had a 2 year old daughter to a girl named xxxx. That when he had been separated from Susan, he was so upset that he had gone out drinking, been drunk and had sex with xxxx which resulted in the child. He said that he had tried after this to reconcile with Susan, but Susan never could forgive him and that was why it ended. He would always stress the point that they had been separated, so Susan had no right to be angry with him about it. Also that Susan had been having an affair with someone else (not sure if this was during their relationship, toward the end, or just after they had broken up), and that he had caught her in bed with a female friend of hers. Once I was down in Hobart, he told me that when he first left the Brethren, that he had lived with a girl and that when he left her she had been pregnant. He said that he had a son who was bout 11 and that he had never seen him. He said he didn’t pay child support and that the mother was raising him and he had no desire to meet him or know what he was like. When I first came back in April, he bought me a $500 bracelet and gave me $500 to go and buy expensive jeans and clothes. He also took me shopping for normal clothes like tops and jackets etc. He had been putting petrol in my car for me every week, sometimes twice a week if I had been to Launceston, since April, right up until the 20th of August 2008. He said that he got a special discount price from work, that he put it on an account and paid it off on visa at the end of the month. He told me that last month he had used over a thousand dollars in fuel and I had used $550.

 

The Blog that Started it all…

So… this is what started it all.  For the Original Link, click here…  We posted it on facebook and low and behold, it all came out…. If you have a story about Andrew David Tchappat, please tell us your Story

Real Name: Andrew “Andy” David Tchappat.
Names Used: Andy Champeret, Andy Champerret, Andy David, probably other Italian or French sounding surnames.
Phone: I won’t publish – contact me for details.
Profession: Claims he is a commercial solicitor for Channel 7, working on TV shows such as Sunday Night, Home & Away, Sunrise. Is actually a Regional Manager for Gerard Lighting Group.
Age: 39; sometimes claims younger (eg 36).

read more…

Significant Details: – Spider tattoo on shoulder; – Claims he is after a normal massage and is surprised about extras on offer; – Quickly turns things personal asking for real name, info about personal life etc; – Intense communication followed by distance; – Grew up in then escaped from the Exclusive Brethren in Launceston in late teens; – Claims he owns a brothel in Sydney, name given of Bella Mia at 25 Kellett St Potts Point/Kings Cross, and/or a hairdressing salon; – Served on Rural Alive and Well (RAW) Board in Tasmania for several years; – Parents Italian and French; three kids; – Claims he lives in Double Bay in Sydney but likely resides in Hobart around Tranmere. One of the hardest things about being a sex worker, and one of the reasons it is so important that the industry is recognised for its legitimacy, is the difficulty sex workers face in holding people accountable when they behave badly. This doesn’t just relate to physical assault, but when someone takes advantage emotionally or financially. There is not just the fear of exposure, but concerns that the stigma surrounding our work will pre-colour our reputation and we won’t be believed, especially if the person who has taken advantage is an otherwise upstanding person. This makes us easy targets for those who like to prey on vulnerability. This problem is further amplified by the fact that we meet people in isolation. The person who walks in the door could be anyone. If something goes wrong we may not even be able to identify them. And if, as sometimes happens, the relationship shifts to the real world, we start off on the back foot: we have no connection to their real lives such as friends, family or work colleagues. It’s a bit difficult to ask someone for name, address and Medicare number before even having a drink with them. There is an “Ugly Mugs” program that logs and shares information about problem clients amongst the industry. However it is limited by several factors. The biggest is the depth of information about the mug, for the reasons outlined above. It is very hard to identify someone from appearance, attitude and maybe a phone number. There is also dissemination. Even the most tenacious sex worker will struggle to gain access to all the Ugly Mugs Australia-wide, which is particularly problematic because many clients specifically see sex workers when they’re travelling. A known Ugly Mug from Sydney might be completely unknown in Adelaide. Moreover, the Ugly Mug program is dependent on workers making the report, which may not happen due to fear, embarrassment or, when the issue is emotional or financial, not feeling it is significant enough to warrant one. The importance of the Ugly Mug program cannot be understated. Because sex work is still largely closeted, sex workers often only have themselves and each other on which to rely when problems arise. So this is a story about an emotionally Ugly Mug, in the hope that it will help prevent other sex workers (and women in general) from being sucked into this web. A few weeks ago I had an erotic massage client in Hobart named Andy. He told me up front – literally almost as a spiel at the beginning of the booking – that he was from Double Bay in Sydney and worked as a commercial solicitor for Channel 7 on the television show Sunday Night. He also told me that he had been after a regular massage but couldn’t get a booking and a google search had turned up my advertisement and he’d thought, “what the hell”. During the course of the booking he mentioned that he owned a brothel in Kings Cross in Sydney. Much of this didn’t make sense to me. Commercial TV networks do not typically employ in-house lawyers for particular TV shows. The owner of a brothel would surely know what a massage advertised in the adult services section is about, and for that matter there would have been plenty of options for a normal therapeutic massage. However, a client can be whoever they want during the booking (within reason). Whether it’s a cover story or playing out a fantasy, part of my job is to go along with that. Andy and I seemed to get on extremely well. The conversation flowed freely and easily about a range of topics. So at the end of it when he asked me out I accepted and messaged him from my personal phone. Some sex workers are steadfastly averse to going out with clients. I am not one of them. I meet hundreds of men every year, and I believe that I am bound to genuinely click with a few of them. I also have a couple of close friends who have wonderful long-term partners who started out as clients. I figured that as we got to know each other I would get clarity on the elements of his story that didn’t make sense. Over the course of the afternoon and into the night, Andy’s communication was intense. There were dozens of messages, many of them extremely personal asking me about my life, relationship status and sexuality, and statements about how much he liked me and our meeting being “meant to be”. He said he would take me out on Sunday, then cancelled that strangely before rescheduling to lunch the following Thursday when he said he would be back in Hobart. After a lull of a couple of days, on Wednesday the intense communication resumed, with more personal questions and revealing comments. At lunch on the Thursday, Andy and I talked for four hours. He told me that he had grown up in the Exclusive Brethren, a strict religious sect, and escaped from that when he was in his late teens. He shared stories about his time and work at Channel 7. We also talked about his brothel and sex work generally. He told me it was called Bella Mia in Kings Cross, that he had purchased it a couple of years prior on a bit of a whim and discussed with me how different workers operated and the challenges he faced with its operation, particularly the linen. He also provided me with information about himself: that he had been married once for about 10 years (divorced for eight), that he had three kids, that his mother was Italian and his father French-Swiss, and that his surname was Champeret, which he even went out of his way to spell for me. That night the messages flew back and forth with both of us talking about how excited and happy we were and discussing our evening plans. In particular, Andy stated the importance of honesty: that he expected it from me and would give “100% back”. We met for breakfast the following morning and made dinner plans. Dinner was cancelled on account of him having to go back to Sydney early for work. After that communication dropped off substantially. I’d receive the odd message and only an occasional response to mine. Any time I queried when he might be back I’d get no response, and the day came and went for him to return with absolutely no communication whatsoever. Thinking, based on our prior communication, that it was pretty clear we were in the beginning stages of a relationship, I explained that this style of engagement wasn’t working for me and queried whether anything was wrong, to which I received assurances that it wasn’t, that he was just busy and that he’d let me know if he was no longer interested. When nothing improved I pushed a bit harder and he criticised me for placing too much pressure on things. I began to get suspicious so I googled him. Nothing appeared for an Andy Champeret, or an Andy David, which was the name used on his Facebook page. Channel 7 had no record of anyone by either name and nothing I could find about lawyers who did work for Channel 7 matched up with him. Assuming by this stage that he had given me a fake name and fake profession I did some digging using the Exclusive Brethren reference and a couple of others as a base and eventually discovered that his name is Andrew Tchappat and he works as a Regional Manager for Gerard Lighting Group, and is based in Tasmania. Before I discovered this I came across an ad he had placed in the Personal Services Casual Encounters section of Locanto, posing as a 36-year-old businessman looking for a “regular massage” in Bellerive in Hobart. This rang a bell with me because he had approached the original booking under the guise of being after a normal massage. In an effort to try to gather information that way, a friend had messaged him pretending to be another sex worker responding to his ad. After my breakthrough about his identity, Andy happened to respond. An intense period of communication, nearly identical to the ones he had had with me, ensued. He claimed he was just after a normal massage and the possibility of extras was a shock; pushed for real personal details within the initial conversation and asked to check me out on Facebook; talked about how much he was enjoying the communication and wanted to get to know the person; and revealed that he was a commercial solicitor working for Channel 7, this time on the TV shows Home and Away and Sunrise. As I wanted to confront Andy about his deception, I took the opportunity to arrange a coffee date for the Wednesday morning. I assumed I’d surprise him, there would be an argument and that perhaps I’d be able to scare him off doing this again. Instead he seemed almost pleased to see me and after initially trying to defend himself he placated me, explaining himself based on his childhood growing up in the Exclusive Brethren making him a mess. It crossed my mind that he seemed oddly detached. Then he asked for a second chance, if we could start over. I had no problem with him having a cover story in the booking, but I objected to him maintaining that once we met up personally, especially the degree to which he added depth to his story. I was also conscious of the fact that his story seemed to be more than just a cover story to protect his identity, rather into the realm of playing out a fantasy. And while I could understand his difficulty in figuring out how to explain himself, I was bothered by the fact that he went out of his way to talk about the importance of honesty, and had kept the charade going and me on a hook for weeks even when it was hurting me. However, after some thought and a discussion about what would need to happen from his end to rebuild things, particularly about honesty, I agreed. Almost immediately things started to fall apart. One of my requirements was that his communication improve, and I received assurances that the only reason for his absenteeism was the fact that he was lying; therefore, he said, he would always get back to me. This didn’t happen: casual messages were still sporadically answered, and any suggestions about us catching up received silence. The only difference this time was that when I questioned him I’d receive justifications, but that quickly started to get wearing, especially when they didn’t add up. Another of my requirements was that we have dinner, because I was suspicious about his specific lack of commitment to and communication during evenings, but no plans were made for this. Catching up was still a daytime event. The nagging feeling in my gut returned. In addition, I began to get annoyed with his attitude. If I raised or wanted to raise an issue I would first have to listen to him talk about some extremely difficult issue he was having in his life that was evidently much more important, then he would become defensive, and then the discussion would be turned around into problems he was having with the way things were between us. If I persisted, he’d deflect to another more pleasant topic, normally one he knew I couldn’t resist. Unwilling to tolerate this behaviour I found myself again having the blame placed at my feet, told that I was being unreasonable, not accommodating his needs and placing too much pressure on the situation. I turned myself inside out mentally and emotionally to try to work things out, but to no avail. Eventually I put my foot down, which was met with an angry response telling me to go away. Unable to escape my unease, I googled some more. During our confrontation, and in the time we spent afterward, Andy remained adamant that he owned a brothel named Bella Mia, and told me that the address was 25 Kellett St Potts Point. There is no such brothel in Sydney that I can find (or any variation thereof). 25 Kellett St doesn’t appear to exist; if it does it certainly isn’t a brothel. Kellett St (and the nearby area) has a number of establishments, it’s a well-known street for them, an easy place to reference. He also told me that it was the anniversary of his father’s death. His father was killed in a car accident that, according to The Examiner, occurred in December 2014 not August. Who knows what else he has lied about, and what he is hiding. There are so many inconsistencies in things he said. Two co-workers then confirmed for me that they’ve seen him several times for erotic massages. One had a near-identical story to mine – what he’d told her about himself; turning it personal very quickly and asking for her Facebook; dozens of intense messages; meeting for coffee. This was going on recently, at around the same time he was engaging with me. Throughout Andy’s and my time together he had enough stories and knowledge about the sex industry to make me think that he had some association with it. Given he doesn’t seem to own a brothel, my conclusion is that he must associate or have associated with a number of sex workers. My concern, based on the fact that he has taken the same approach with several sex workers and is so comfortable and brazen with his lies, is that he repeatedly and frequently plays this game. When I googled him if something like what I have written had appeared I would have saved myself a lot of trouble. So I am hopeful that in writing this I can perhaps put some people’s minds at ease and spare future targets. Alternatively, perhaps the Exclusive Brethren can just take him back. #shitpunters