I have known Susan since we were kids, going through both primary and high school with her. We re-connected again after we found ourselves working for the same company some years later, and then I met Andy after he also started working for the same company.
On first impressions, Andy seemed a really lovely guy, always very friendly, but as time went on, and I spent more time with him, it became clear that he had some troubles.
As it was some time ago, my memory doesn’t have everything in order but below are a few instances that took me aback.
On the evening of the birth of one of his children to Susan, he called me to ‘see if I was free for a visit’ as Susan would be ‘out of action’ for a while. At the time, I actually thought he was joking, I later realised he was dead serious!
After Susan had the 3 boys, there was a time with the youngest was only a baby, and she had said she was having trouble trying to get her oldest child to school while managing the baby. I lived near the school and offered to look after the baby while she did the drop off / pick up. It was nearly all arranged when he called to tell me that it wasn’t needed; Susan would just have to deal with it –trying to distance friends.
He stopped me on the side of the road after leaving their house after a visit one time to tell me that Susan was having trouble coming to terms with dealing with having three children, and it would be better if I just stayed away. He said that she didn’t really like me anyway, and that it would be better for all of us. Again, distancing friends.
There was a time when Andy told me they had split up and that it was better if I didn’t contact Susan as she was ‘getting over the shock of it’. That was when I was just so over it all, and I called Susan and said that he had told me all of that, and was she ok. They hadn’t split up at all, it was again another lie.
It ended with me becoming distant from Suse, and thankfully over time we’ve reconnected.